I am….hopelessly jet lagged. It has been two mornings since arriving home and I am still the zombie falling asleep early and waking up at 10..11 pm wondering how it could be so early. Last night I woke up at 11:30. Needless to say, I binged on Netflix all night for lack of anything better to do…
Here I am now though. It is still early. It rained last night, so everything has that rich, deep color that you only get after a rain. What is even better is that we are nearing the end of our fall (and perhaps could arguably be in winter), so the trees have more color…not like a NY fall..but beautiful still. I love the city in the morning, before everyone has woken up. It´s so still..peaceful.
We just got back from a nearly month long trip…visiting the Philippines, Cambodia and finally Thailand. I love traveling. I love the feeling that I am seeing and experiencing something new. I love the sights and sounds and smells and tastes and people. However, in the last year…I have also loved coming home.
That concept of home has been something not entirely tangible to me for some years. Leaving my home for university (and sometimes, I might even argue moving from my childhood home at 15) meant I was in transit. I still had a place to put my things, to sleep at night, but I wasn´t home.
From there, I have crossed a broad spectrum of jobs and continents searching for my place. What did I want to do? Where did I want to be? Well, I still can´t with any certainty tell you what I want to do. I can tell you what I want to do right now. Maybe I could even tell you what I want to do in the next few years….but from my experience, that can change in the blink of an eye.
Chile? That was certainly never on my radar…and yet, I found myself sitting in the plane and looking out at the Andes as the sun rose and thinking just how happy I was to be home. I found myself arriving to our apartment and relishing the sight and sound of it, our cat who had likely thought we abandoned her, our nanny who was just as jubilant to see us…everything.
The place isn´t perfect. There are plenty of times where I have things to complain about, but I have come to realize a very important lesson…that nothing will ever be perfect. I will never find a place to live that is perfect. The important thing is whether I can be at peace, be at home…and at least for now, I have found that.