Why I Do It
A thousand times my body has told me to stop. A thousand times, my inner voice has screamed out in objection…”Why? Why are you doing this”? In truth, I never had an answer. Why should I push myself? Why should I suffer? When someone asks me why I do this or why I do that, I always say..”Well, because it’s fun.” Let me tell you…a marathon or half marathon is not fun, killing yourself in a WOD is not fun, trying to learn something new in kiting is often not fun…all of these things involve levels of difficult, suffering and pain. So, again…why?
Yesterday I ran a 21K. I’m not a good runner, I never have been. This race I had set a training goal to be under 2 hours. It was ambitious as my last 21K in November was 2:18 and change. Three weeks before the race, I had an injury in my hip. It was likely from overuse, but it caused me a lot of pain when I ran. So, I took a break until race day to see if I would feel better. If you are a runner, you know about the high. I live for that feeling…when everything just drifts away and you feel fantastic. There is no other feeling like it and I almost always get that feeling during a run. Not yesterday. Step after painful step, I never got the high. My hip hurt, I got a horrible cramp in my glute early on that refused to leave and I just wasn’t feeling it. A thousand times I told myself to walk and a thousand times my heart said “no”.
I finished the race running the whole time with a 2:04:56 finish time.
I felt accomplishment. I felt pride. I had overcome an obstacle in front of me.
I have had my fair share of challenges in my life, including injuries. On two separate occasions I had injuries serious enough that the doctors gave me incredibly low chances of ever making a full recovery and ever participating in sports. Both times, I proved them wrong. I still wake up every day and I still have pain…a constant reminder of old injuries. Still, I have kept going.
Pushing myself to the limit, giving it my best every time in whatever I do is my own little victory.
Sometimes we have to suffer to see who we truly are. I’m not competing against anyone but myself. Will I be better today than I was yesterday? Will I have the courage to do it? The answer will always be yes, at the top of my lungs..”Yes”